In recent years we've heard more and more about anger management, mainly because the effects of anger have become so prevalent in the news. One of the most insidious forms of violence, domestic violence, is on the rise and its cause is directly attributed to anger. Men commit 95% of all reported domestic violence and domestic violence is the number one reason for women seeking emergency medical attention.
Poor anger management is also the leading cause of physical abuse resulting in serious injury or death of children. Researchers found that, in 2004, over 80% of children who were killed were under 4 years old. And Shaken Baby Syndrome, an injury that directly results from a poor ability to manage anger, affects between 1,200 and 1,600 children every year. In 2004, an estimated 3 million children were found to have been abused or neglected.
Domestic violence is a learned behavior. Children who are abused, or who witness abuse or violence, often grow up to be angry, abusive, violent adults. The cycle often begins with men who have low self-esteem, who imagine the world is against them, and it builds into an all-consuming anger that eventually escalates to violence and abuse. These men become husbands and fathers and pass their abusive and violence behaviors on to their children and the cycle repeats itself.
Poor anger management leads to violence and by either allowing, excusing, or ignoring that behavior, we actually encourage it and allow it to grow. When angry people learn there won't be any consequences for their violent behavior, the violence just gets that much worse. And as the other people in the household see how successful the angry person is, they too, turn to anger to get want they want. Especially since there are no consequences for their poor behavior.
Children who grow up in these angry, abusive households quickly learn that, in order to get what they want, it's okay to destroy things and hurt other people and the cycle continues.
Once caught in this cycle of anger and abuse, it's difficult to escape. The angry abuser commits a harmful act toward a member of his family, either verbally or physically, and then feels remorse for what he's done. Then he becomes angry with himself for losing control, the anger escalates and the abuse happens again. The person who has poor anger management skills often convinces himself that he'll feel better once he “lets that anger out”, but does he really?
You might think you feel better when you're in the middle of that rage, but when it's over how do you feel? You probably want to curl up under a rock somewhere. Don't worry though. Just as anger and violence can be learned, so can anger management. The cycle can be broken.
part 4 will be posted in no time :D
Regards,
Fermi Mirza Alfarisi
email : fermimirza@gmail.com
Phone/WA : 085710420922
BBM : 75B55C77
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